This is what chocolate does to me...
I have three friends with babies and one who is about 20 weeks pregnant. I cannot talk to them - this is a problem for several reasons.
1. Because they (some of them anyway) want to talk to me
2. It could indicate that I am blocking and ignoring issues and emotions and that I really should be dealing with
3. The longer I put it off, the harder it's going to be when I do talk to them
These people consist of: my "best friend" (we still have to deal with that topic); my friend at school who I've already mentioned; a close friend of DH's wife, who has also become a friend of mine; and an online friend that I've been talking to for almost a year now.
The "best friend" is calling, after having forgotten about me for a month. I was okay with being forgotten - I am not okay with talking about her baby and my problems. I would rather share this with women who understand what I'm going through and have displayed gestures of compassion, than someone who has no clue what I'm going through and has pretty much been non-supportive during all this. She would always talk to me if I called and wanted to talk, but what about reaching out and showing that you care? Crazy idea?? I don't really think so.
I'm going to stop calling her my best friend now. It's a left over title from our teenage years and really, why do we need to categorize one of our friends as the "best" one anyway. She's not the best. She's one of the longest... the one I probably spend the most time agonizing over (hmmmm - need to examine that) and the one I've been through a lot with... but not the BEST. So, her new name is going to be "old friend"... yes, that will do. I think I'll rename Rick my best friend, since after all who better to be your best friend than your husband and life partner. Now everyone is back in a tidy category and life can go on.
Now, do I return my old friend's calls or just ignore it? Do I send an email instead? Am I really this neurotic? Yes, I am. I think I will call her and just tell her that I really don't feel chatty right now and I am sorry if I'm not there for her while she's a new mother, but I'm just not up to it right now. Our lives will be on the same path again one day.
I now have a headache - I ate some chocolate and I don't think I can eat chocolate - am going to call it a day!
1. Because they (some of them anyway) want to talk to me
2. It could indicate that I am blocking and ignoring issues and emotions and that I really should be dealing with
3. The longer I put it off, the harder it's going to be when I do talk to them
These people consist of: my "best friend" (we still have to deal with that topic); my friend at school who I've already mentioned; a close friend of DH's wife, who has also become a friend of mine; and an online friend that I've been talking to for almost a year now.
The "best friend" is calling, after having forgotten about me for a month. I was okay with being forgotten - I am not okay with talking about her baby and my problems. I would rather share this with women who understand what I'm going through and have displayed gestures of compassion, than someone who has no clue what I'm going through and has pretty much been non-supportive during all this. She would always talk to me if I called and wanted to talk, but what about reaching out and showing that you care? Crazy idea?? I don't really think so.
I'm going to stop calling her my best friend now. It's a left over title from our teenage years and really, why do we need to categorize one of our friends as the "best" one anyway. She's not the best. She's one of the longest... the one I probably spend the most time agonizing over (hmmmm - need to examine that) and the one I've been through a lot with... but not the BEST. So, her new name is going to be "old friend"... yes, that will do. I think I'll rename Rick my best friend, since after all who better to be your best friend than your husband and life partner. Now everyone is back in a tidy category and life can go on.
Now, do I return my old friend's calls or just ignore it? Do I send an email instead? Am I really this neurotic? Yes, I am. I think I will call her and just tell her that I really don't feel chatty right now and I am sorry if I'm not there for her while she's a new mother, but I'm just not up to it right now. Our lives will be on the same path again one day.
I now have a headache - I ate some chocolate and I don't think I can eat chocolate - am going to call it a day!
posted by Jackie at 2:40 PM
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