16 weeks - just some thoughts
My dad's wife is driving me a bit crazy. I'll call her L.
L. keeps asking me (via email, card, telephone) when her and my dad should plan on coming up after the baby is born. She is so enthusiastic and the only one that has really gotten this excited so far (including Rick and I!), but I don't know if I'm ready for all this unbridled enthusiasm. I'm getting less scared all the time, but I feel like I'm being pushed too far the other way. It's funny, if she wasn't excited at all I'd be upset, and now I'm upset because she's too excited. Today I asked Rick if we could elope with the baby (he said that's kidnapping, but if it's your own kid surely it's not).
L. also also asked if anyone has offered to buy us a crib yet - and if not then they would like to. Are you kidding me? I don't even know where you buy a crib (no, I'm not kidding - we don't have baby's r us here that I know of) and no, no one has offered to buy us anything. We've only just bought our first 3 little baby items this past weekend. I'm only 16 weeks pregnant, should I be thinking about cribs already? I realize this is a generous offer and we're both grateful (and don't get me wrong - I certainly didn't refuse), it just made me feel a bit freaked out!
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I think my belly got bigger over night. My mom has agreed to take me shopping in the scary maternity stores tomorrow on our lunch. I need some pants badly, I can't seem to get the few that fit clean in time to wear them again. Buying clothes I can deal with much easier than cribs!
__________________________
My 16 week doctor's appointment is on Thursday. 16 weeks doesn't sound very far along anymore. 20 weeks is starting to sound more exciting.
__________________________
Yesterday I told T. from the health food store and M. from school that I'm pregnant. I still hestitate for a second before I tell people, but I need to make myself get over this anxiety of losing the baby and start enjoying this time. Step by step, slowly it's happening. I am going to tell my good friend R. tomorrow, that should be fun!
__________________________
I am dangerously close to finishing school now! I can't believe it. I have an exam and a big assignment next Monday, then 2 weeks off and then 2 more nights of class and I'm done until they can squeeze me into the Cellular Biology course that I missed with my last miscarriage. I still have to do about 25 hours of extra lectures, but they don't include any tests or homework - so piece of cake! Then I have 14 case studies to complete, one board exam and I'm officially a Nutritionist.
Speaking of school, I think one of the reasons I was meant to take this course is that it's helping me through my own journey of dealing with the fact that I have some health issues. I have always thought of myself as completely healthy, solid as a horse. But in fact I have this anti-phospholipid-antibody syndrome and it is an auto-immune disease. School has taught me to look within myself and try to see if there are any emotional issues that I need to deal with in order to rebalance my body. And I've discovered that there are. I'm not saying I'm going to put aside the Heparin and aspirin and go join an ashram or anything, but I am definitely going to explore some of the issues that have come up.
_______________________
Each day that passes I am constantly in awe of the subtle changes going on in my body. I really want to experience the entire process this time - even though I don't know what all the baby products are for yet, I am so ready to be mom.
L. keeps asking me (via email, card, telephone) when her and my dad should plan on coming up after the baby is born. She is so enthusiastic and the only one that has really gotten this excited so far (including Rick and I!), but I don't know if I'm ready for all this unbridled enthusiasm. I'm getting less scared all the time, but I feel like I'm being pushed too far the other way. It's funny, if she wasn't excited at all I'd be upset, and now I'm upset because she's too excited. Today I asked Rick if we could elope with the baby (he said that's kidnapping, but if it's your own kid surely it's not).
L. also also asked if anyone has offered to buy us a crib yet - and if not then they would like to. Are you kidding me? I don't even know where you buy a crib (no, I'm not kidding - we don't have baby's r us here that I know of) and no, no one has offered to buy us anything. We've only just bought our first 3 little baby items this past weekend. I'm only 16 weeks pregnant, should I be thinking about cribs already? I realize this is a generous offer and we're both grateful (and don't get me wrong - I certainly didn't refuse), it just made me feel a bit freaked out!
_________________________
I think my belly got bigger over night. My mom has agreed to take me shopping in the scary maternity stores tomorrow on our lunch. I need some pants badly, I can't seem to get the few that fit clean in time to wear them again. Buying clothes I can deal with much easier than cribs!
__________________________
My 16 week doctor's appointment is on Thursday. 16 weeks doesn't sound very far along anymore. 20 weeks is starting to sound more exciting.
__________________________
Yesterday I told T. from the health food store and M. from school that I'm pregnant. I still hestitate for a second before I tell people, but I need to make myself get over this anxiety of losing the baby and start enjoying this time. Step by step, slowly it's happening. I am going to tell my good friend R. tomorrow, that should be fun!
__________________________
I am dangerously close to finishing school now! I can't believe it. I have an exam and a big assignment next Monday, then 2 weeks off and then 2 more nights of class and I'm done until they can squeeze me into the Cellular Biology course that I missed with my last miscarriage. I still have to do about 25 hours of extra lectures, but they don't include any tests or homework - so piece of cake! Then I have 14 case studies to complete, one board exam and I'm officially a Nutritionist.
Speaking of school, I think one of the reasons I was meant to take this course is that it's helping me through my own journey of dealing with the fact that I have some health issues. I have always thought of myself as completely healthy, solid as a horse. But in fact I have this anti-phospholipid-antibody syndrome and it is an auto-immune disease. School has taught me to look within myself and try to see if there are any emotional issues that I need to deal with in order to rebalance my body. And I've discovered that there are. I'm not saying I'm going to put aside the Heparin and aspirin and go join an ashram or anything, but I am definitely going to explore some of the issues that have come up.
_______________________
Each day that passes I am constantly in awe of the subtle changes going on in my body. I really want to experience the entire process this time - even though I don't know what all the baby products are for yet, I am so ready to be mom.
posted by Jackie at 10:11 AM
3 Comments:
When I first started reading, I thought ohhhhh Jackie (((HUGS))) but by the end I am thinking more like Awwww Jackie (((HUGS))) You are going to be a wonderful mommy.
LOL (with you, not at you)at not knowing what all the gadgets & baby stuff is for as I feel the same way but I have been through this before, it has been soooo long & there is all sorts of neat things out there, not sure any of it is really necessary.
I can totally understand you being overwhelmed by L's enthusiasm, but in the end you will really appreciate it (speaking as someone with a very UNenthusiastic MIL). It takes a long time to truly let go and let yourself enjoy it though - that is understandable - you are still guarded. That is so nice of them to offer to buy the crib. Don't worry - you'll find some!
Good luck in the "scary" maternity stores :) You'll be fine. Just remember that you NEED to be there now. That little one needs room to grow.
Awesome about being so close to finishing school! As I've said before, you are super-woman to be doing all of this at once! (By the way, it's 8:00 in the morning and I'm eating twizzlers as I write this - as a nutritionist, can you tell me - is that bad?)
Jackie, you're doing great. At 16 weeks, I was no where near ready to talk about the birth or nursery or anything!
I have an aunt that's been enthusiastic since the beginning, too, so I know that's hard. I told my aunt that I couldn't handle being excited just yet, and I really didn't feel ready to talk about all this stuff. I told her that for that time, it was her job to be excited, and that I'd eventually catch up with her.
I caught up with her, and you will catch up with L, too. Just give yourself some time.
Congrats on entering into the scary world of maternity shopping. If you remember, my first visit to a maternity shop sent me away crying. It's a big step!!
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