Take your congratulations and shove it...
My old friend called yesterday. I haven't spoken to her in over a month, although I did send her a nice email, to which she never responded, to try and catch up with what's going on in our lives. I decided not to tell her that I was pregnant as early as I had last time - in fact I'd thought I'd wait until at least 18 weeks or so. Partially because she was not a good source of support for me through either miscarriage, and partially because I am not ready to hear all her pregnancy, birthing and mothering advice.
I spent our whole conversation trying to decide whether I should tell her or not and finally at the end decided to go ahead - might as well talk longer on her dime than mine :) I'm in my 17th week now, and I didn't think she could judge me for telling my news too early this time. She sounded excited for us and thanked me for sharing with her, but said that she wouldn't say the "C" word yet.... apparently it's still too early for congratulations.
After I hung up the phone, I though "how dare you?!" That's like not congratulating a child learning to read their first words, because they haven't mastered the whole dictionary yet, or not encouraging a baseball player who's made to second base because they might get tagged out or the inning may end before they've made it to home. I am so angry - I want to be expected to make it through this rather than assuming that my pregnancy is going to fail. And yet when I told Rick about our conversation I ended up defending her to him - I was obviously in some state of confusion yesterday. Not feeling confused today though, feeling a bit hurt and definitely angry. It seems like something so simple but in a way I feel like it sums up our whole relationship and I have to express how I feel and move on.
Whew, that feels better!
So - a couple of other things:
1. Apparently I gave up too easily with the crocheting thing the other day. I've actually made it through a couple of granny squares now, and they're anything but perfect - but I'm sure just as anything else in life, they'll get better with practice.
2. I don't feel pregnant today. I sort of feel like normal me, I feel like my belly is getting smaller too. Rick laughed at me, he said "you're patting this big globe belly and saying there's nothing there!" I just wanted to put that out there so when I'm feeling huge one day, I can come back to this and laugh at myself.
I spent our whole conversation trying to decide whether I should tell her or not and finally at the end decided to go ahead - might as well talk longer on her dime than mine :) I'm in my 17th week now, and I didn't think she could judge me for telling my news too early this time. She sounded excited for us and thanked me for sharing with her, but said that she wouldn't say the "C" word yet.... apparently it's still too early for congratulations.
After I hung up the phone, I though "how dare you?!" That's like not congratulating a child learning to read their first words, because they haven't mastered the whole dictionary yet, or not encouraging a baseball player who's made to second base because they might get tagged out or the inning may end before they've made it to home. I am so angry - I want to be expected to make it through this rather than assuming that my pregnancy is going to fail. And yet when I told Rick about our conversation I ended up defending her to him - I was obviously in some state of confusion yesterday. Not feeling confused today though, feeling a bit hurt and definitely angry. It seems like something so simple but in a way I feel like it sums up our whole relationship and I have to express how I feel and move on.
Whew, that feels better!
So - a couple of other things:
1. Apparently I gave up too easily with the crocheting thing the other day. I've actually made it through a couple of granny squares now, and they're anything but perfect - but I'm sure just as anything else in life, they'll get better with practice.
2. I don't feel pregnant today. I sort of feel like normal me, I feel like my belly is getting smaller too. Rick laughed at me, he said "you're patting this big globe belly and saying there's nothing there!" I just wanted to put that out there so when I'm feeling huge one day, I can come back to this and laugh at myself.
posted by Jackie at 1:12 PM
2 Comments:
(((((HUGS))))) It's so hard when our friends fail us. ((((HUGS)))) Try to not let her get you down...from what I can tell from what you've shared about her, she isn't exactly the model of compassion and empathy.
I know I mentioned on FF how sorry I am you have to deal with such so-called friends. Now that blogger will let me comment again, just wanted to give you some extra (((HUGS)))
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